Noticing
by lalalathisisme
Summary: Julian/Logan. Logan begins to notice things about Julian.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I do not own Dalton, I do not own Glee.**

Julian had been acting strange lately, so odd that even Logan had been able to pull himself out of his self-pity to notice. Not like Logan didn't ever notice things about Julian, but usually when Logan was hung up over some guy, Julian wasn't around for that for Logan to notice anything unusual. And the fact that Logan even noticed _that_ trend, was starting to bug him that he was noticing all these things about Julian for once. Of course he had to pick the time his best friend had holed himself up in his room, shutting Logan out for some (probably stupid) reason, to notice anything about him.

But Logan is noticing, and he's not liking the uncomfortable feeling he's getting about all of this. Even Derek has been on edge with him, so he knows something is up if _Derek_ has his panties in a twist. And even though all Logan really wanted to do was lay in his bed, angsting over Kurt (because, _come on_, WHY would anyone choose Blaine over him? Sure, he loved Blaine. Once. But Kurt deserved better. Kurt deserved him), he knew that he needed to sort out Julian. And he knew that no matter what he thought, the whole…Blaine/Kurt situation was happening as it should. He just didn't like the "un-loved" and "I chose him over you in a heartbeat" feeling that came along with this whole situation. It was easier to stew over things than deal with them and move on. But he didn't have time to stew over things. He needed to fix his best friend, so he could go back to bitching to him about how nothing is going right.

Logan got up from his chair and crossed the room, out his door and pounded his fist onto Julian's door.

"LARSON. LET ME IN." All he heard was silence. "DAMMIT LARSON. I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE."

It was quiet, but Logan heard it all the same, "No." It wasn't angry, it was just tired and sounded slightly watery like Julian had been crying. But that couldn't have been right. Julian didn't cry. Logan was new to all this "noticing things about Julian" phase, so he was pretty sure he just noticed wrong. All the same, he softened his voice.

"Please Jules. Just open the door."

"I can't."

"What do you mean you can't?"

"I just…I can't will myself to move."

Logan may be new to all this noticing stuff, and he may still be in a rough spot with his feelings himself, but he _knew_ that he hadn't heard Julian wrong. He knew Julian was suffering from something behind those closed doors. So Logan took initiative and opened Julian's door. What he saw when he stepped in was not what he was expecting. He looked around and suddenly he was noticing everything.

The piles of tissues erupting from the trashcan in the corner, the low hum of a very sad love song playing from Julian's computer, the clothes all over the floor – very unlike Julian – looking like he stepped out of them and didn't care enough to pick them up. The way that Julian was curled up on his bed, bags under his eyes, clutching a tissue, looking like he was fighting with himself to fall asleep, and losing.

"Jules. Are you ok?"

"Does it look like I'm ok?" Julian managed to mumble.

"No. You look like shit." At that, Julian sat up and looked at Logan.

"Well thanks. Nice of you to notice. Now get the fuck out."

Logan moved over to sit on the side of Julian's bed. "And let you wallow? Nah. I think I'd rather stay here and find out why the fuck you've locked yourself up in this room for the past 3 weeks and you won't talk to me, or even let me talk to you."

"So you noticed."

"Yup."

"That's new."

"Yeah I'm trying it out. So far it's led me to see that you're miserable, and I want to know why."

"I can't tell you that."

"Why not?"

"Because I promised myself I would never tell you."

"So sing it to me."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I do not own Dalton, I do not own Glee. I do not own the song "The Way I Do" written by the lovely Darren Criss, for the show "Starship" by Team Starkid. **

"_So sing it to me."_

"What?"

"If you sing it, you wouldn't be telling me. I'm sure there's a song out there that properly expresses whatever angsty – teenage girl emotion you're dealing with."

"And this is why I don't tell you _shit_." Julian was getting angry now. "You're so wrapped up in your own angsty – teenage girl problems that you can't even notice that some of are dealing with REAL problems."

"That's not fair. You know I'm dealing with watching the _person I love,_ **love someone else**."

"Yeah, well. So am I."

"What?"

"You want me to sing it? Fine. I'll fucking sing it." Julian sat upright and threw off the covers and climbed out of bed. "You're so fucking blind, you know that?"

Logan looked at him confused. Julian stood at the foot of the bed, away from Logan. Logan noticed that he looked like he was searching…for something. Confidence? The nerve to sing? Why would he be worrying about-

Logan's thought process was cut off when Julian opened his mouth and started singing.

_When they say you can't love_

_I think you've got it wrong._

_And they say you can't feel_

_With a heart made of steel_

Logan noticed the love in Julian's eyes. And the fact that he was singing a song that was a duet.

_But you can't say that steel ain't strong_

_Well if that's who you are, just a meaningless star in the sky._

_Tell me what is the meaning of what I am feeling_

_If you are the reason why?_

_Now I may be dumb, but where I come from_

_Folks say they're fine when I know that they're blue._

_But you don't know you the way I do._

Logan noticed the pain in Julian's eyes. And before Julian could continue, Logan picked up the next verse.

_Your kind is frail and weak_

_And I want to destroy you all._

_You're a sorry disgrace to the concept of race_

_And to logical science and law._

_But for some reason why_

_When you look at me I don't wanna be_

_Programmed this way, believe when I say_

_You're the one anomaly._

_You might not be smart_

_But there is a part of me_

_that's starting to make a breakthrough_

_No you don't know you, the way I do._

By now Logan had moved off of Julian's bed, and was standing next to him. Logan noticed the words he was singing, and began to apply them to his life, and to Julian. Julian picked up where Logan had left off,

_I never expected_

_To find someone like you_

_I don't know anything_

_But you're giving me a clue._

_I can see past the surface,_

_Finding the worth that is hiding beneath_

_Your life and purpose_

_And all of a sudden I feel like I've run into_

_something that no one has seen._

Logan noticed how when Julian was singing he dropped eye contact with Logan and moved away from him. Logan couldn't quite figure out what was going on, but he noticed that right now, he didn't care about Kurt, or Blaine, or anyone for that matter. He didn't care about anyone, except to get that stupid Cheshire-cat-like grin back on his best friend's face. So he cut off Julian before he could start the next verse.

_You're perfect and wonderful,_

_how I hoped you'd be._

_But it's really enough for you to be just a human being_

_And I know you'll agree_

_That's all we need to make our dreams come true_

_If this life has an ending, I'm glad that I'm spending this short little time with you_

Logan had moved closer to Julian and put his hand on Julian's cheek to pull his face toward him. Julian looked up, his eyes filled with pain mixed with love. Julian pulled out of Logan's touch and looked pointedly at him, singing,

_I'm so much more than what you thought before_

_now that we have gotten to_

_Get to know you_

_You don't know me_

_The way I do._

Julian finished singing and leaned forward lightly kissing Logan on the lips. In those few short moments, Logan's senses went on overdrive. He noticed how soft Julian's lips were, could taste the slight minty-ness of Julian's toothpaste, he could feel the tears on Julian's face from when he was crying, he could feel Julian's face muscles relax the moment Logan started kissing him back. Logan also noticed the way Julian pulled back slightly, his breathing shallower than it had been a moment ago, and the look of confusion in his eyes when he looked at Logan.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I do not own Dalton, I do not own Glee.  
><strong>

"Why did you kiss me back?"

"Hmm?"

"Why…did you kiss me back?"

"Why did you kiss me?"

"I obviously like you. I sang you a fucking song. I thought you were noticing things now, how did _that _manage to escape you?"

"I kissed you back because I like you too. And I noticed the song. I also noticed that you still have your sass, despite the fact that you just told me you like me through song."

"I love you."

"What?"

"I told you that I **love you** through song."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"…Well I don't think I'm there yet, but I definitely want to be around long enough to try."

"Excuse me? Is this some kind of sick joke? I pour my heart out to you and you sit there pretending like you reciprocate? Fuck you."

"Who says I'm pretending? And wasn't that the point of kissing me? To eventually be fucking me? Or have I been doing it wrong all these years…"

"Shut up Wright. Just 15 minutes ago you were whining about how in love with Kurt you are, and now you're telling me that you like me."

"So?"  
>"So? I'm not some fucking distraction from your angsty – teenage girl problems Logan. I'm a human, with feelings. And emotions. And right now you are doing something very weird to them, and I don't like the feeling."<p>

"You sound like a 13 year old girl."

"Yeah, well. Bottling up your feelings for three years kind of does that to a person."

Any witty retort Logan had been preparing was silenced as it sunk in what Julian just said. "Uh, three years?"

"Yes. Three fucking years. Through Blaine. Through Josh. Through Kurt. Through everyone. I've sat over here fucking _pining_ over you. And I just. I can't do this to myself anymore. And then after that thing on the steps…that stalker….I just. I'm being watched and followed, and pushed away by the _one person _I want to hold me at night and tell me it'll be ok. This is exhausting Logan."

Logan didn't know what to think. He never noticed any of this before, but if he thought back, he could remember things being said, things that were done, the fact that Julian always seemed to disappear when he had a boyfriend.

"Oh."

"Yeah. I just. Please leave me Logan. I need to get back to hoping I'll sleep tonight, and I'm sure you need to get back to whining to yourself about why Kurt chose Blaine over you-"

"-I don't want-"

"-Me. I know. Just go away Wright."

"NO. No. What I was trying to say is that I don't want to go back to 'wallowing over Kurt.' I don't want to think about Kurt anymore. Do you want to know why I've still be thinking about everything that happened with Kurt?"

"No. I don't want to hear anything about you and Kurt."

"It's because I was hurt about the fact that no one ever seemed to _choose me_. Even when I was dating someone, they always left me for someone better. I'm never enough for anyone. But you. You have the opportunity to date _anyone you want_, and yet….you choose me."

"Do you think I _want_ this?"

"You can try to hurt me with words Larson, but I know you better than you think. You've already played your hand, and I know you care."

"What's your point?"

"My point, is that I want to try this. I want to try to make this work. I've seen the girls you've dated in Hollywood, and by those standards I can only assume the boys you've secretly dated. You can have any of the beautiful people, and still you chose me. You still chose me first over everyone. And I'm noticing that that makes me happier than anyone else has ever made me."

Julian just stared at Logan. Finally, he wiped the tears off his face, and crawled back into bed.

"You're just going to…go to sleep? Are you fucking kidding me?"

Julian rolled over to face Logan. "You know, for someone who's been so observant lately, you sure missed the biggest invitation. Come here and snuggle with me. I want to get some sleep tonight."

"Snuggle?"

"You want to try something with me? Hold me. I haven't had a decent sleep in months. And right now, all I really want to do is fall asleep in your arms."

This wasn't quite what Logan was expecting, but Julian has never really been what Logan expects. Logan sighed, pulled off his shirt, threw it somewhere and then crawled into Julian's bed and laid down next to him. Pulling Julian into his chest, he softly placed a kiss on Julian's forehead, and lay there silently before he was sure that Julian was asleep. Then Logan snuggled down deeper into the covers, pulling Julian closer, and he let himself fall asleep.

Logan knew tomorrow morning would be interesting. He knew they would have to work through a lot, and he knew that is would not be smooth sailing from here on out. But he also knew that starting to notice his surroundings, and noticing Julian, was probably the best thing that had ever happened to him.


End file.
